"Don't try to save the world at this phase."

"Are you just going to post about it, or are you actually going to do it?" This question, posed by a friend when I first embarked on my PhD journey, has lingered in the back of my mind for months. As someone who typically keeps my personal experiences close to the chest, I've hesitated to share the highs and lows of balancing a PhD program with work responsibilities. However, I've realized that I need to share my wins, challenges, exhaustion, and the valuable advice I've received outweighs my inclination to keep things super private.

About a month ago, during dinner with a friend who is exploring the idea of a doctoral program, I painted a relatively optimistic picture of my PhD experience. And it's true; I am genuinely enjoying the exploration of my curiosities, acquiring new skills, and engaging with an inspiring academic community. Plus, my advisor is AMAZING. She has been a crucial pillar of support, and I consider myself fortunate. However, it's time to peel back the layers and discuss the less glamorous aspects of this journey.

The Weight of Fatigue:
One of the aspects I've been hesitant to admit is the toll this journey has taken on my energy levels. Balancing a PhD program with work commitments and other side projects is undeniably exhausting. The constant juggling act between assignments, research, and professional responsibilities is a formidable challenge. There are days when fatigue sets in, but it's crucial to acknowledge this fatigue and understand that it's okay to feel tired. I recently had to cancel some prior commitments. I felt guilty at the time but was ultimately relieved to have some time to recharge.

Navigating External Challenges:
Dealing with external factors that disrupt your workflow is an inevitable part of the PhD experience. Whether it's colleagues slowing down progress, lack of resources, or working in the DEI space during tumultuous times, these external factors can add layers of complexity to an already demanding journey. Sharing my experiences openly is not just about airing grievances but about acknowledging the reality of external challenges and finding ways to overcome them.

Major Assignments and the Workload:
As major school assignments loom large, the pressure intensifies. There's a palpable sense of urgency to deliver high-quality work, and the weight of expectations can be overwhelming. It's crucial to remind myself and others that perfection is an unattainable standard.

Valuable Advice from the Trenches:
I've realized that once you tell someone you are in a doctoral program, they often offer unsolicited advice. I'll take it! I've received advice from colleges from work, old professors, and even my Uber driver in Baltimore. Here are some of the things that stuck with me.

• "Just get it done! Your dissertation certainly will not be the best thing you write. Believe me."
• "Try to defend in person. Oh, and try to feed your committee."
• "Be careful who you tell that you're pursuing a PhD. Everyone doesn't have your best interest at heart."
• "Don't try to save the world at this phase."
• "Life is going to happen. It never goes as planned"

I'll continue to gather more advice, and I will be sure to write about it.

An Open Invitation to Share and Seek Support:
Moving forward, I've decided to be more open about my experiences for the benefit of those considering a similar path. It's important to weigh the options carefully, understanding that the journey is unique for each individual. Additionally, I want to extend a reminder to my fellow PhD candidates that it's okay to be tired, but DON'T give up. You don't have to go through this alone. Seek support and find solace in the knowledge that others have faced similar challenges and emerged stronger.
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In the end, a PhD is not just about the destination but the transformative journey. Embracing the challenges, learning from the advice of those who've walked the path before, and acknowledging the fatigue are all integral parts of this process. As I navigate the remaining chapters of my PhD, I'm reminded that perseverance, resilience, and a willingness to share one's story can be as impactful as the dissertation itself.