Le Moyne Students Visit MIT

For the past three years, I’ve had the joy of connecting with students from my alma mater, Le Moyne College, during their Manresa on the Road trip to Boston. And for the last two years, I’ve had the added pleasure of hosting them at my office at MIT. I look forward to this visit each spring as it is a time to pause, reflect, and be reminded of the kind of community that forms when curiosity and kindness come together.

This year, as the visit approached, I found myself feeling unusually tired. I had 2 cups of coffee today (if you really know me, you'll know this is a rarity). As I walked into the conference room with my friend Jonathan (class of 2011) and settled into the usual routine of introductions and questions, I wondered if I’d have the energy to be fully present. 
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Within moments, I was reminded of the deep joy these conversations bring. I reconnected with dear friends--RJ Rapoza, TJ Davis, and Katie Pershall —who greeted me with warm hugs and familiar laughter. The students, who varied in year, program, hometown, and interests, asked very thoughtful questions.

They asked about the PhD journey, about how I found my way into educational research, and one question that especially stuck with me: What are the biggest mistakes you've made? WOOOOFF!!! I am glad they asked.

Here’s what I shared:

• Mistaking self-sufficiency for strength. In college, I believed asking for help made me weak. Looking back, I see how many opportunities and relationships I likely missed by trying to carry everything alone.
• Equating pivots with failure. In college, I believed not following through on a predetermined path meant I had failed, and when I pivoted after I college, I was soooo embarrassed. But those who truly knew and cared about me weren’t fazed. RJ recently told me they were actually happy that I was doing what I felt was best for me. They trusted I’d find my footing, and they were right.
• Ignoring the voice of discernment within. Jesuits often speak of consolation and desolation. There have been moments I ignored my heart at those intersections—choosing the path of “I should probably do XYZ” over the path of “I feel called to do XYZ.” I’ve learned that discernment, even when messy, is important. What is more, I've learned that discernment in the midst of a community who cares, is also important.

One conversation stood out in particular—about passion and purpose. We’re often told to follow our passion, especially in career decisions. But what happens when the job changes or disappears? I’ve been reflecting on how easy it is to root our entire identity in our work. I’ve done it. I'll probably do it again in the future. Many of my friends have, too. But we must remind ourselves that we are not defined by what we do, but by who we are becoming and the ways in which we love and show up for others. 

When they asked me what the most fulfilling part of my job is, I mentioned the travel and the cool projects, but I also mentioned the people. I’ve been fortunate to work with colleagues who have become dear friends. People who challenge me, make me laugh—those deep, belly laughs—and expand the way I see the world. I cherish those relationships and always will, even after our work together ends.

Needless to say, the conversation was rich, restorative, and full of hope. If you happen to come across a Le Moyne Dolphin out in the world—maybe they’re job searching, maybe they’re just curious about your story—PLEASE give them a few minutes of your time. I promise you, you’ll walk away with more than you could have ever imagined.